it is forgotten? We were never suited to each other, were we?"
"Why speak of what is past?"
"You see, if I had remained with you I should have been no happier,"
said Bella, reflectively; "you expected too much from me."
"I did my best to make you happy."
"Yes, perhaps! then if I had been more grateful and different, would
you be glad if I was with you still?"
"I cannot answer that question. I loved you--I had no thought for any
human being outside yourself."
"But now," she persisted, "now that the wound is old, do you not say
to yourself, 'it was better so'? Suppose that you and I were still
what we were once to each other, would you be happy to know that I
was your wife to-day?"
"I beg you to be silent. It is impossible that we can discuss such a
question."
She came close to his chair.
"I am," she said with a sort of feverish eagerness, "no more of a
lady now than I was then. I am just what I used to be when I made you
ashamed of my ignorance and my mistakes. But if I were pure, if I had
never been divorced, if I were standing here your faithful wife,
would you be glad?"
"Hush! You are paining yourself and me."
"Jack!"
"For God's sake be still!"
She fell on her knees beside him.
"Jack, say you would be glad."
"If you had never left me, if you had remained my faithful wife,
heaven knows that I should be a happier man!"
Bella burst into tears and sobbed convulsively, then pressed her
handkerchief to her mouth. It was bright with blood when she withdrew
it.
"Oh, be careful of yourself," said John Chetwynd, terribly moved;
"you must do what I advise."
"I'll try. I wonder why you should care one way or the other. It is
more than I deserve--you make me so sorry and ashamed. I shall never
see you any more, shall I?"
"I cannot."
"No; I understand, I ought not to ask you. Well, good-bye. There is
my address if you should take a notion to come. It is only a six
months' engagement over here, and if I'm not long for this wicked
world, I may not live to finish it. Keep my card. If one day you
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