week previous. She compared us to Judas Iscariot, who betrayed his
master with a kiss. She said there were those amongst us who would
surely have to suffer deep affliction for not attending to the
manifestations of truth within.--I have been guilty of much levity
and nonsensical conversation and have also permitted thoughts to
occupy my mind which should have been far distant, but I do not
consider myself as having committed any wilful offence. Perhaps the
reason I can not see my own defects is because my heart is
hardened. O, may it become more and more refined until nothing
shall remain but perfect purity.
* * * * *
2nd mo. 11th day.--First day evening Deborah came down and sat with
us. In a few moments she called for her Bible, and in a short time
she read, "Jesus wept;" and then, after a long pause, she said,
"There are those present who, if they do not attend to what has
been said to them, will have their strings shortened, even as short
as this verse." This she said after having inquired on what subject
Abraham Loire preached in the morning and none of us was able to
tell.
* * * * *
2nd mo. 12th day.--Deborah came down in the afternoon to examine
our writing. She looked at M.'s and gave her a severe reproof; she
then looked at C.'s and said nothing. I, thinking I had improved
very much, offered mine for her to examine. She took it and pointed
out some of the best words as those which were not well written,
and then she asked me the rule for dotting an i, and I acknowledged
that I did not know. She then said it was no wonder she had
undergone so much distress in mind and body, and that her time had
been devoted to us in vain. This was like an Electrical shock to
me. I rushed upstairs to my room where, without restraint, I could
give vent to my tears. She said the same as that I had been the
cause of the great obstruction in the school. If I am such a vile
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