To which Sir Percival: "Andre's French Victuals."
To which Arissa: "And when would this be?"
To which Sir Percival: "I dunno. How about tomorrow night?"
To which--well, anyway, to her own surprise, to the astonishment of
Sir Percival, and to the great confusion of the rest of the kingdom,
Arissa finally actually agreed to this scenario and the next evening
the two young people went to Andre's.
Arissa, of course, ordered the eleven most expensive things on the
menu, for she was still intending to discourage Sir Percival, but
the knight was willing to put up with only a glass of water for his
own dinner, because the success he had enjoyed so far with the
desirable Arissa had quite taken away his appetite anyway.
In the course of the evening, Arissa happened to remark, "I wish
they had apricots on the menu here. You know, I really love them.
I could eat them by the ton."
To which Sir Percival: "Why, Arissa, my dove, I own an orchard of
apricot trees."
To which Arissa: "Really? Oh, Perce." When she pronounced his name,
the young maiden sighed and a glisten appeared in one or both eyes.
Well, from here the story gets pretty mushy, so we'd better make it
short. This delightful couple soon held hands; they discovered anon
that their lips fit together pretty well, Arissa's ten years' worth
of plans were miraculously cancelled, and Sir Percival finally asked
the Big Question, to which Arissa replied, "Well, okay."
And so they were married and lived happily ever after, with Arissa
often telling Sir Percival how she had secretly loved him from the
first time she saw him, while Sir Percival, each time he kissed
Arissa's apricot-flavored lips, congratulated himself for his skill
in winning her.
Truth Carved in Stone
A wise old philosopher was walking through the park with a young man
and his true love when they came upon a beautiful statue of a Nereid.
"Come here," he said to the youth, "and touch this statue." The young
man put his hand on the statue's arm and felt of it closely, though
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