youth when you have never instructed yourself? 'The canvas remains
blank when the artist has no paint,' says Hugo de Brassus. Go back
to your books."
"And as de Roquefort says, 'To sit on a cheese and eat whey is the
destiny of fools.'"
"See here, young man," said the beard, ignoring his colleague,
"treeness is a life process displaying the aspiration of matter
toward hierarchy, order, and structure. It finds analogues and
even homologues in life systems everywhere."
"The frogs croak at night, but the sky remains dark," said the
glasses, smirking slightly.
"Nonsense," replied the beard. "What I have said is self-evident.
Sir Humphrey Boodle even noted it."
"But Boodle has been refuted these three hundred years."
"Well, Calesimon said so, too."
"Hah!" cried the glasses with a laugh of forced incredulity.
"Calesimon! Calesimon was an idiot!"
"Argumentum ad hominem."
"Oh, come on. The man was institutionalized."
"And genetic fallacy, too. My, my."
"Ignore him, son," said the glasses to the youth. "He's not been
very well since his wife laughed at his last paper. A tree--"
"She did not laugh," interrupted the beard.
"--is a woody plant containing specialized structures, larger overall
than a bush and often, as you see here [pointing] having only one
trunk rather than many."
"And is this the effect of dotage or of primordial ignorance?"
"False dilemma, Mr. Logician."
"Surely you were there that day in bonehead English when they
distinguished between 'definition' and 'explanation.' You are familiar
with the English language, aren't you? The young man has asked for
an explanation."
"Well, as Frabonarde says, 'The whole is known by its parts.'"
"The doctrine of those who pull the wings from fruit flies."
"Yes, it would be too straightforward for someone who needs six
hundred pages to discover that he doesn't know what he is
talking about."
"A classic example of the projectionist error. Not everything you
don't understand is a problem with the text," said the beard, tapping
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