Stories from the Old Attic

	
his finger to his temple.

"If I may be permitted one last allusion to Oriental wisdom, I would 
note only that the Chinese have said, 'Men hurt their eyes seeking 
a water lily in a rock garden--even in a large rock garden.'"

"I thought you knew that the Poems of Chen had been exposed as a 
product of nineteenth-century Europe.  Don't make it a habit to go 
around quoting hoaxes.  It gives philosophy a bad name."

"Excuse me, sirs," the youth interjected, "but I have to go now."

"Very well," said the beard.  "Only remember, with the knowledge 
you attain, seek to achieve understanding."

"Oh, so now we are quoting the Bible!" cried the glasses with 
triumphant scorn.  "The rest of the department will be interested 
in this."

"I was not quoting the Bible.  I have never even read the Bible."

"Why don't you ask God to bless him while you're at it?"

"Listen, don't you think I know that your doctrine of cosmic mental 
states is just a front and that you're a closet monotheist?"

"And may I remind you that slander is an offense punishable by law?"

"And is this the state of a wise man?" asked the beard, looking at 
the sky, "to threaten his friend for speaking truth?"

"Now he's even praying!  I can't believe this!"

"'We cannot see around corners,' says Germulphius, 'so what is left 
to the man who refuses to see in a straight line?'"

"Someone like your wife," answered the glasses.  "No doubt by now 
she's found twelve more insupportably ridiculous assertions in your 
paper on aperceptual phenomenalism."

"Well, at least my wife reads my papers.  At least my wife can read."

"My wife is an avid reader of literature."

"Since when did the television listings become 'literature'?  That's 
the most transparent semantic ploy I have ever heard."

"Are you accusing me of owning a television?"

"He who can see the maggots need not ask if the dog is dead."

"'Ignore the shadow cast by a passing vapor,' says Phonetes."

"You've always been sloppy with bibliography, haven't you?" demanded 
the beard.  "Phonetes would have been utterly embarrassed to have 	
Prev Contents Next