imagined, were the souvenirs from his previous wanderings. When his
pockets were finally emptied, there was still no identification, but
instead, on the table before them, his interrogators saw the
following objects, namely, viz., and to wit: the bottle cap, the
chicken brains, the horse manure, a piece of grimy string, a cigar
butt, three pieces of chewed and flattened gum, a wing nut with
stripped threads, a rusty nail (bent in two places), part of a candy
wrapper, some rat pills (eleven of them), half a marble, and a
common pebble.
After a moment or two of reflective silence, the mayor made bold to
speak (seeing the constable in a reverie), and asked gently and
softly, "Where did you get all these, uh, items?"
"Why, looking for gold and treasure, sonny," the old man answered,
in a tone that implied that the mayor should have known the answer
already. "But," he added as a second thought, and in the face of
these gentlemen's now rather extravagantly and injudiciously raised
eyebrows and opened mouths, "they were all just what I was looking
for--like the broken arm here. Quite a find, eh?"
At this point, the farmer, who had been standing generally in the
background holding his hat in both hands, came forward and begged an
audience with the constable. "I didn't want to say this before," he
began in a low tone, "but now I think I must, in case it should be
important. All the way into town that old fellow kept saying
something to me about wanting to cook his brains by burning a horse
biscuit under his cap."
That was enough. And, needless to say, the Authorities from the
Institution in the city were immediately summoned, and the old man
was taken to a very pleasant place where he could rest among friends
and nice people, have no worries, and be free to enjoy the
"butterflies, blue skies, and happiness always." It is reported by
reliable sources that shortly after arriving the old man was heard
to exclaim cheerfully, "Just what I was looking for! Mattresses on
the walls!"
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